Michelangelo's Journal
by Saiyura
Summary: Mikey got a journal from Raph for christmas. He's giving it a shot but he's not sure on it.  will improve more in later chapters  RR
1. Dec 20

_Every night before I go to bed I'll be writing a chapter for the next night XD here's the first one_

December 20

Raph gave me a journal... I think it's stupid but I'm going to give it a shot. Well, I'm not sure what to put in here other that. Hi, I'm Mikey, or Michelangelo Hamato, and I'm a giant turtle. One of Four. I'm the youngest of the sibling and my favorite color is Orange.

I'm also the trouble maker of the family while the others are also in their own ways, not as bad as Prankster Mike!

Well, I think the reason why Raph gave me this is because ... well, he stole it. I know where though since there was a giant BLUE ribbon tied on it and the whole THING is blue. Shesh, can't be be any more subtle about where he steals his gifts?

It's funny, but I also know that this is the gift Casey was going to give April but she convinced him to give it to Leo from both of them but Leo told them about two days ago that Don and Splinter were giving him journals and that Raph would need one but they refused to give Raph the journal since he'd throw a fit and I think he felt hurt that they didn't want to give it to him so he stole it last night, I'm guessing it was last night, and he gave it to me just because... he doesn't like blue.

Deep breath in!

My room is a mess. I know that this is such a sudden topic but, hey... this is me, Mikey the magnificent! and... well, don't tell anyone but under all this garbage is the wrapped up gifts for my friends and family. In the far corner I bought Raph some oil and things he needed for his bike.

Leo's is the silliest thing. I bought him a tatami mat, it's in my closet under and hidden by my cans of soda.

Don's going to love his. Coffee. Coffee... and April's bringing the creamer closer to Christmas.

Oh, I hear Leo calling... did I mention it's six in the morning and I've been up playing Halo with a bunch of online friends? I'm so out of it that Leo is going to kill me and Don's going to put me to bed with sedatives... Raph just laughed when he came in here seeing me huddled in a blanket talking rapidly about guns and people and teams and time and yadda yadda we all know he'll never care about.

Oh crap, bye...

Michelangelo...

ps. Do I have to sign my name at the end of each journal entry? That's so stupid!


	2. Dec 21

_Every night before I go to bed I'll be writing a chapter for the next night XD here's the first one_

December 21

Hey! I'm back, I know this is sudden and rash... wait, Rash and sudden! This is a journal not a letter! Shesh, I sound like Casey asking April or Don for money but getting rejected because I'm sounding desperate for it. Yeah, that's Casey alright.

Okay, so I have to tell you, I don't know who you are anyways that I'm talking to, about what happened today!... Crazy things happened!

Well, first I woke up late in the night, I had a nightmare, and I walked into Leo's room, I wake Leo or Raph up when I'm 'nightmaring' and I begin to talk to him about it.

Leo was so rude! I mean, come on! I come to him in my time of need and the FIRST thing he does is scream like a girl, did I mention that Leo was a girl?, and he bolted out the door. I felt so dejected!

Then I went to Raphie's room, Raph hates to be called Raphie, and I see the giant tank just sitting there before I move and sit next to it and I say such a macho thing to him which he ignores, can you believe that! he Ignored me!

I said, "I'm such a macho macho man!" and then for some reason I was over powered by the urge to sing 'Macho man' or something like that. I totally begin singing it, it was awesome!

I wont lie, I'm a great singer!

And now... I realize that Raph gave me that evil stink eye of his, gross man gross!, and I'm forced to go back to my room and as I enter there, this part is the freaky part, was the Shredder in a pink Apron.

The Shredder! Shred head. Tin can. Metal stink breath. Utrom sucker bug... in a pink... apron...

He brought cookies from the dark side, his words not mine. and I was like, "No!" and he was like "Take it!" and I was like "NO!" and he was like,

"Mikey," in a dark voice and... he soo sounded like he was having a hard time breathing under that can opener mask of his. "I am your father."

and I was like, "NEVER!" and I jumped at him only to here him laughing before... BOOM!

Iced by Raphael, my brother who gave me that stinker eye.

It was a dream... a wonderfully hilarious and morbid and scary and horrifying and tragic and... Shredder was my FATHER how else can anything go wrong for it to be a nightmare?

Oh... the fact that I was actually on the floor tangled in sheets and blankets and my chucks, which was how Raph knew something was up because I broke several objects in my room 'thinking' I was getting some good hits on Shredder, and I WAS!

"Man, can't you at least not have a nightmare in a nightmare, bro?" Raph said to me, can you believe he said that to ME his cute younger and sooo much more handsomer brother?

WELL!

Okay, so I'm going to drop that and say this: I hate... picture.

I found this strange site called 'Deviant Art', I heard Donnie talk about it all the time but he wont let me on it, and there I found something so disturbing that I shall one day burn my eyes out in hopes of getting rid of it.

EMO Ronald McDonald!

Plain and simple... but my love of that clown shall never return... did I ever tell you that he was the only clown that DIDN'T freak me out? Yeah! Seriously!

I've seen 'It' so many times that Clowns are officially... bad. I mean yeah... Worse. Show. Ever.

Stupid Stephen King.

Oh... April brought something for us to eat. Talk... I mean write... to you later, dude!

Michelangelo

PS. I asked Don about letters and Journals and Dairy ( this is the right spelling for that female version of a man's man journal right?) he said that it would be better if the name of the person was written down so that whoever read it would know it. So... I'm going to write it down until I think it's even stupider then than now.

PIZZA! Thank you April for the gift of the gods!


	3. Dec 22

_Every night before I go to bed I'll be writing a chapter for the next night XD here's the first one_

Dec 22

Did I ever tell you how much I love snow? Well... I do. I love it and I love what comes with it and how much my brothers and I can enjoy it... in normal human clothing... That stuffs soo hard to move it!

Well, me, being the great and all powerful turtle titan, have decided for the moonlight snow walk of shopping for Christmas. Leo joined... Don also... Raph crashed it by slipping on snow and nearly falling onto a fire escape where a woman had just barely opened her window.

Raph, clumsy!, I know impossible to even think of! It's only three days till Christmas and already he's trying to kill himself, and it's an unusual way too. I mean, Raph, come on, bro!

So, when Leo asked, "What do you think you're doing, Raph, being so reckless and FALLING almost into the eyes of a human? That isn't like you and I don't want to see it again or, help me Splinter, I'm going to kick your ass to the nearest sewer hole and drop you in it wrapped in a pink bow gifted to Splinter himself to watch for the remainder of our shopping days."

I was soo surprised that Raph didn't retaliate but instead just nodded, gritted his teeth, and punched a wall. Poor wall bears Raphs' fist for the rest of its life.

Raph had been EXTREMELY un-Raphie like since then... and that was four hours ago. Now he's cooped up in his room making mad laughter while muttering all our names.

Master Splinter is worried about it and Leo and Don are scared to even approach his room, but I think he's wrapping gifts... that might explode.

I made a bet with Casey and April that Don's gifts would be the exploding type, April was on Mine (I laughed saying it wouldn't be possible), and Casey was on Raph... he might win now that I actually could see some form of evidence to his conclusion.

So now I'm scared out of my wits and... Do you know what I hate about Casey right now other than he might win the bet? He gave me McDonald's the other day AFTER Don and April told him I hated that place, not hated but kind of was scared of it, and...

I'M SLICING MY WRIST CASEY, SLICING THEM LIKE RONALD MCDONALD DOES AFTER THE SUN IS DOWN AND THE CAMERAS AREN'T ON!

Okay, that's out of my ... I hate Casey and his insensitivity.

Last night I watched a movie called Death Race with Raphie, man it freaked me out but it had such an awesome concept about the future and games and the future and... CARS! Raph liked it because the cars had cool weapons and Don came in stating that he'd love to make one because... WEAPONS! and Leo sighed stating that they all needed a reality check because, well I don't agree with him but I kind of do, we don't have the money, equipment, or even a car, other than our lovely battle shell that Don believes is reaching the end of days...

Which is has, might I remind you, because Raphael had it blown up.

I blew up the tunneler!

Alright! Raph just laughed and called my name and I heard a giant 'BOOM' ... Don's screaming smoke and Leo's screaming Fire and I'm now going to find out what all this hub bub is with Raphie.

If I'm not back, Raph killed me, just to let you know.

DON"T SELL MY COMICS GUYS! (if you ever read my journal with THREE pages in it)

Michelangelo... a.k.a Mikey (so much easier to write)

ps. I think my brothers will love the gifts I got them.


	4. Dec 23

_Sorry I didn't update last night XD I instantly fell asleep when I got home._

Dec 23

Man I'm still out of it! So is Raph... Don is lecturing him in Leo's place since Leo is still out looking for whatever Donnie needs. Yeah... owie!

Last night I told you guys I'd be checking out what went 'boom' and I bet you, like I, would not believe it.

Raphael was making Fruit cake in his room with a portable oven that he stole from Casey, who thought it was going to do something different when Splinter questioned him. And now I'm banning Raph from ever... EVER... touching my kitchen.

How horrible a sight, He looked like a giant mutant cooked eater of humans!

He was covered in fruit cake and it stank, I found out later that he dumped FIVE different kinds of alcohol in it, and now... now Klunk is drunk... he tried to help clean Raph... Poor Klunk.

Oh you might be wondering why it's effecting me and Leo... Well the smoke is why Leo is gone. He jumped in to Raph's on fire room and tried searching for Raphael...

Did I mention Raph was not in his room but has stumbled into the bathroom as quickly as the fire had started. Leo has some burns because or it and smoke inhalation.

Don's treating Raph now but I'm more surprise about what happened. Did you know turtle + burning fruit cake + alcohol = violence ... we didn't.

Raph went on a violent streak and Don says it was the alcohol making him 'high' or something. I thought drugs did that to you... Is alcohol a drug?

Well I commented on Raph's new 'suit' and he decked me in the head... hard... while talking about men in tutu's and little toys that could talk and a rat king... Doesn't that sound like the nut cracker?

He also said Leo was in a speedo fighting an evil monster, ME can you believe he'd consider sweet and innocent and lovely and charming handsome me as evil, who wanted our ears... and that Don was a toy making bombs... and... Oh man, Raph was out of it! He sounded like me on sugar, now that I know what it's like I understand why my bros try to keep it away from me.

Oh did I mention I have a concussion?

Yes... and Don's here... Leo got home... Casey's running from April he says. IT seems he supplied the booze.

Good ol' Casey Jones.

Well, I would love to stay and talk but... uh... Don's being persistent that I open my door. Can't let him see you, Journal... I don't want to look 'female' in front of my bros, if you catch my drift.

Mikey


	5. Dec 24

Dec 24

It's Christmas eve! And... Splinter has taken all the presents that I have been dying to search through and hidden them. He's calling it 'Ninja Christmas' and the stipulation is... Find each of our twenty eight gifts before Christmas and we might be able to open then at one in the morning.

Leo and Raph are fighting about the rules Splinter gave us. One, must be blind. Two, can't talk to each other. Three, must use mores code by tapping shoulders.

Don is supporting a nasty bruise from Raph when we started practicing, Splinter gave us a go ahead to try that, and Raph freaked when Don touched his shoulder.

I'm proud to say 'NOT ME!' and sad to say 'He's in for it now'.

Casey is down here, by the way, and I'm scared... He's using a pot, his own, and making something that stinks. Don says it's nothing to worry about and Raph says it's strong liquor. Leo isn't proud to say he can't wait to have some.

I'm scared to see or know what it is that, in a few hours, I'll be having course through my system. Settle in my chest... fester and grow...

IT COULD BE AN ALIEN FROM ALIENS! It could grow in my chest before POPPING out above my heart killing me! I know it!

We're starting again... Save me from Raph please?

Mickey

PS I got a cowabunga idea... Don't trust Casey or Raph near Christmas... I still smell burning Fruit cake and I'm sick to my stomach that not even PIZZA is curing.


	6. Dec 25

Dec 25

It's Christmas morning and, unfortunately, we didn't find all the gifts in time. Reason being... it was top side and a foot ninja was currently holding it while shaking it.

It's really like, two am right now, and this is my gift I had to get, Leo and Raph were still fighting and Don is top side with me but in a different area, well when I called him he said he found his last gift.

I know I'm suppose to be blind for this but dude this is the foot here! You know, the one we have as a mortal enemy. I still can't believe this ninja found a gift Master Splinter placed. I mean... LUCKY. They aren't exactly picture perfect ninja except when you say 'Foot... Vanish' and poof! They're better at retreating than I am at my pranks and that is stating something.

So I have half a mind to just write and then call Don or finish writing and then take my gift from his greedy little foot hands!

I'll be Arnold Swartsinagor! (I can never spell that man's last name.) and Say 'Give me my gift' in his accent and then raise some gun arm or something like that and be perfect!

Like... I don't know... I'll be cool though! Glasses on. Yeah, so want that.

HEY! He just dropped my gift!... and pulling out... a sword...

0-0-0

5 pm

THIS sucks! I'm hiding from that lousy foot and running from him all NIGHT and DAY! I got a call from Don stating I should give up this prank, I mean I stated about three hours ago that I'm being HUNTED, when I remembered I had my phone on me, by a foot ninja... Dude, this guy is like... Stalker perfect... and he's a FOOT NINJA! Deadly combo dude, deadly combo. He's Rambo if I ever thought I'd see him in person... DAMN RAMBO!

I'm in some abandoned factory and... Well I should start with what happened AFTER I went down and say, "Merry Christmas". Last thing I'm ever saying to anyone but my brothers and friends! Maybe not them anymore either...

He looked at the gift then at me and then... He shouted 'You CARE!' and he started running at me with the sword! DUDE! WTF!

He then went to swipe at me still shouting about 'caring' and 'secret santa' and shit like that and... WHAT THE HECK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!

He's been chasing me about, don't know HOW he has been able to track me, and I do have the gift.

OH SHIT! I hear him. I'm calling Raph... maybe he'd believe me: third time trying, but they say three times the charm, right?

'Mikey! Get you ass back here, ya turd!'

'Raphie! I'm a bit in-.'

'Ya sprout crap about foot hunting you down I swear I'll eat ya dinner.'

Well, I'm so furious! Yet... I don't speak as I hear ... He found me! HE FOUND ME!

'Raph... please just come and get me...'

'Dude... ya okay? Ya-.'

"Found ya, Secret Santa." I know I scream like a girl but right now I don't care about that as I drop my cell spin around and I SEE him! OH GOD ! I SEE HM!

Dear Journal reader, who ever you are, please know that my messy scribbling is because I'm holding my present and writing down EVERY thing right now...

Oh hey, I hear Raph yelling my name.

"Oh, what are you writing? Hm?" He sounds... so happy! I'm so scared!

"Nothing." WHY AM I STILL WRITING!

0-0-0

7 pm

I... I lost him. I'm so out of breath and now... now I'm stranded and I'm no were NEAR my last location and I'm not even SURE where I am anymore. I ran and ran and ran some more with a foot man two steps behind me.

I'm scared and I think my brothers NOW AFTER I SCREAM LIKE A GIRL realize I'm in deep shit.

After I last wrote that foot dude sprouted shit, again, about me caring.

"TURTLE SANTA!" OH GOD! "I SEE YOU!" Save me!

0-0-0

9 pm

I'm... too tired... I can't go on... If anyone find this... finds me... I'm sorry, bros...

Merry Screw Ball Christmas!

Mikey

ps. He's in front of me... he still gots his sword out... he DOESN'T Even look tired! I... I give up...

Here I thought I was the fastest of my brothers. Who knew Shredder's been training a ninja just to hunt me down because I could run.

0-0-0

11 pm

I'm home, sipping chocolate. I had stumbled home a few minutes ago and Don had been home searching through anything to find me on his coputers. He's now telling Raph and Leo I'm home... Minor scraps and cuts with plenty of bruises but mainly scared shitless out of my mind.

In the end I ended up giving the man the present and... He took me to have drinks... I'm completely shocked.

He was soo happy to get the gift... you want to know what it ended up being... A new first addiction classic comic of X-men. He was ecstatic stating he'd been searching for this ONE for years!

He gave me a hug... he left... and I'm a comic short. Why! WHY!

I'm angry at my brothers. I mean, Yeah I pull pranks but not these type. I'm no boy crying 'wolf wolf' just to get his kicks...

I'm no longer talking to them until the new years.

but I'm NEVER fighting... fighting the foot again. Just to be sure I never run into 'crazy' again.

Oh, the door to the lair just opened, bye.

again...

Mikey, the pissed turtle titan

**((Merry Christmas all Enjoy some Mikey problems XD))**


	7. Dec 28

_I'm so sorry! I keep starting and then I forget I had it up after I close down my programs!_

Dec 28

I've spent the last two days trying to avoid my brothers, but that has only caused me problems with trying to write in my journal. You see, I told Raph I threw it out after I got home. He looked so hurt but he deserves it! I'm starting to feel so guilty now because of it. I now see my brothers moping about and... it's because I'm being cruel to them.

I don't speak to them, haven't made them anything to eat ( and they haven't actually eaten anything since I stopped ), and now Master splinter is coming to me telling me I have to understand.

I find it hard to because... yeah I joke around but I never joke about the foot. I never joke about being in trouble like that. I never joke of Christmas. It just hurt, and still does, that my brothers didn't believe me. I believe them even when I don't want to so why can't they accept what I said was true?

Well, I'm at the Park, I left early tonight to escape my family and just think, and I'm actually considering going back and saying 'sorry, but it hurt when you practically abandoned me to some psycho Foot'. But their my brothers!

I can't just shove it to the side.

That's why I'm asking you, and you'll never really give me a response back, what I should do.

It's been hours since I stopped writing to you and I'm still no where near an answer. I've ditched the park since it isn't helping me with my problem and giving me an answer. Now I'm huddled near the Professor's old home, inside it actually, trying to think of what he used to say to us when we were in a bind.

It's not turning out to well. I use to always come to Donnie when I was emotional and I couldn't think. I don't have this option and it really is a killer. Don is having problems because of me.

I'm going to go on a run, maybe I can think... maybe...

Mickey

PS. If you ever do figure out the answer, Journal, please tell me... I'm scared and I don't like being so... cold and distant from my brothers... I love them, but I hate what they put me through without even knowing.


	8. Dec 29

_I'm scared... you'll find out why at the end..._

Dec 29

I'm outside again, but this time I've ran away from Raph and the guys during a routine exercise. It isn't my fault... well it is. Raph got pissed at me because I wasn't 'talking', not my fault really I was thinking hard on what to do about our situation, and then suddenly he hits me! Raph hit me for no reason! I could tell he was horrified but that didn't mean anything then and there!

I ran and now I'm back to that place I first met that stupid foot. I feel so conflicted and I want to know what would have happened if I never decided to get that present and just let him open it. I wouldn't have been chased all day and night. I wouldn't have had to jump through glass, wouldn't have had to desperately get my brothers to believe I wasn't lying and pulling a prank, wouldn't have had to deal with a psychotic foot member who COULD keep up and track me down whiling upstaging me in stealth and ... all things ninja... and I wouldn't be feeling like I was going to look down off the roof and think 'no one loves me' and jump.

I really do feel like it these last couple of days.

...

Wow... um, you're not going to believe this but I just looked down to the ground from the top of the building and I... I still can't believe what I'm looking at and whose looking at me.

It's him... that foot ninja... you know how I can tell because he just screamed at the top of his lungs like some rabid anime fan girl 'Secret Santa Turtle!' and... He's... WHAT THE SHELL DO I DO!

Okay... calm down, turn tails, and pray to Master Splinter I don't have to run. If he invited me to beers last time do you think he'll do it again... I could go for a few... even though I don't drink. Raph, what would you do?

Oh, he'd fight until he died THEN he'd call us from the grave telling us he was in trouble... Yep, good old stupid Raph.

"Turtle!" I'm still a little worried because he's a foot member. "You're still writing? Doesn't it feel weird and look weird when you write everything I'm saying." He's got a point but I just can't let go of this life line.

"Uh, well... it kind of helps me think." THINK my ass! my brain is killing me! I can't write, talk, and LISTEN all at the same time.

"How are you?"

"Good." This is the most strangest experiences in my life. I'm talking to the enemy and it isn't about how they're going to extract information from my brain through this and that type of torture... kind of nice in the freaky way.

I just stare at him as he stares at me shifting on the balls of his feet as if he can't stand still for longer than a micro second. Don told me once that is how he describes me.

now that I think about it, I'm doing the same thing.

"What... are you doing out here?" I asked him, and really I'm curious.

"Stalking." Donatello... SAVE ME!

"Who?"

"You." I know my eyes are twice their normal sizes and my mouth is hanging open while I'm panting and darting my eyes around trying to figure out WHAT TO DO!

"Why?"

"Orders from the Shredder... and you're my friend." dude... messed up... messed up.

"Why... are you calling me your friend? Aren't we suppose to be... i don't know... enemies?" I'm hoping he says yes so I don't feel like I'm in the twilight zone.

"Yes, but I don't care about that... you're my friend!" he says that so lovely dovey and squishy and... IS this what you feel on the inside when you know you've met death and death is right there in front of you with a hidden smile of 'knowing'? I suddenly feel bad for the universe that we have stalkers.

"Well! It was a pleasure, not really, to see you again, Mr. Foot Ninja, but really-." he rose his hand to me!

"Call me," he stops and I can see he's trying to find a name that is cool for me, seeing as I'm the stalked.

"I'm going to call you a stalker foot ninja."

"NO, man!" he steps forward driving me backwards. "I want you to know me by a COOL NAME!"

"Dude, being called Stalker IS a cool name!" I am trying to reason with him because he's scary and I know I can't outrun him like I could another foot ninja.

"ZACK!" I jump, I'm seriously shaking!, as he screamed that at me. "Call me Zack."

"Okay... but I really should get going, Zack." he's giggling as I call him his 'name'.

"NO! Tell me your name~!" LEo... what am I suppose to do?

"Michelangelo." he's saying my name and I can feel my disgust running over my skin and plastron and shell... oh damn... I'm done for.

"Michelangelo, I'll see you around... want some coffee or something next visit?"

"No..." I squeak afraid of what he might put in it. "Bye..."

He's standing in my way waiting... for me to say his name... "... Zack." and he moves to the side.

As I am walking past I feel his damn hand brushing my shoulder...

I'm NEVER leaving my brothers sides again.

Michelangelo

PS I'm home now and I got the biggest LECTURE that even Raph was pitying me for. They were scared that something like what happened on Christmas would happen again.

They weren't wrong, but I'm not telling them about Zack... I can't... I'm afraid of what he might do.


	9. Dec 30

_good bye... good bye... lmao  
_

Dec 30

Tomorrow night is New Years eve. I have the perfect wish to ask and I have a challenge at getting that wish fulfilled. Zack, my stalker, hasn't been seen, at least by my brothers, this whole day. I'm so glad but I get this creeping feeling at the base of my neck...

So I was watching a cartoon series marathon before nightfall, Avatar: the last air bender, and I think it's an awesome show! I mean, come on! I totally understand Aang and his situation! Being the last airbender, having no people anymore, being 100 years old... okay, maybe not his age...

I look at the group, not including Aang, and I can't help but see my family a bit. I'm Saka, Leo's Katara, Raph' is SOO Zuki, and Don... Don's a lot like Taff.

So, now I'm actually laughing because I'm on the episode where the animals talk and Aang has obviously lost it! He acts like Don when he's been on coffee straight for three days without a drop of sleep. Leo keeps on it but... I'm still scared of Coffee + Don = Mass Panic.

Today's been a great lay back day, but I still have to get up now and help gather supplies. I only wish that I wasn't going with Raph. Leo got's this strange idea that if the two of us go together Raph will behave. He didn't behave very well last night! I got a shiner, man A shiner! I'm still pissed about it, but Raph looks so down... I guess if my bro feels like crap about it I'll just let it go. I love him, he's the only hot headed brother I have... and dumber than I am... have to keep him around or else I'm the dumb one.

Have to put you a way for a while, but don't worry, I'll still write.

0-0-0

We're home and it's about ten in the morning. Leo and Master Splinter both agreed that training would be post poned until we all got a few hours of sleep. Sleep sounds good but I have to tell you something, who ever you are... I think I'll name you Bob... Yeah, you seem like a Bob, Bob...

Okay, as me and Raph were at Casey's checking the last of the things off the list, April was there by the way, I noticed a laser beeming in from outside and hitting the mirror. April noticed it always.

"Mikey? Is... that laser point on your face?" I look at the mirror as she said this, it was bouncing off it and onto me, and I gave her a 'yeah'. She laughed before looking outside, laser still on, and saw nothing. "Wonder who's doing that..."

I really don't want to know, have an itching feeling I do.

"Don't want-." Raph came in and spotted the laser, he laughed at first until he pushed me out of the way. Casey closed the curtain and they both just raised a brow at me. "What? It wasn't going to burn a hole in my head." I said that but I got the feeling something else was burning a hole in my head.

I must be paranoid. Zack isn't out there. Probably was a neighbor of Casey's.

But the strangest thing was as we were hopping along the roofs I had that itching sinking feeling again.

Raph stopped because I seemed to have slowed down, I think he was worried I was getting sick. Though ... you're not going to believe this...

The laser was back. It was pointed at my face. Raph was a bit freaked though and he was a bit more cautious.

It's only now that I know what Zack was pointing at: my shiner. I think he's a bit pissed... or worried... or something...

Raph... he went on the defensive all the way home. I had to beg him practically to forget this whole 'laser' issue and he swore that if this happened again he's getting Leo on this, I really can't have that happening.

My new 'friend' is only after me... He's a bit crazy but he hasn't done anything other than give me the shivers. He's been really nice staying out of my way. I don't think Zack is as bad as I had thought, but he's still foot so I can't fully trust him.

Michelangelo

ps. Bob, I'm sorry. If you're a girl, Bob, please don't take the male name as an offense! I love the name Bob... If you're a girl I'll call you... Nickie... But I like Bob, so it's Bob... Sorry any Nickie's out there, you've had a name changed by Michelangelo the hot stuff!  
_


	10. Jan 1

_Happy New Year XD A update to show the New Year Love_

Jan 1

First let me wish you a happy New Year and Welcome to 2011 with the turtle who has it down!

I should warn you I still have a slight hangover and might not be able to do anything other than try to explain what I remember from last night. First I should say I barely found my journal in the living room under a mass amount of party food and goods and all that lovely opened bottle of beer. Ah, it isn't ruined, I put my journal in a zip lock back so that, in case I spill beer, it would stay good and clean.

Well, tonight was the first night my family has been together as a whole and agreed, not Master Splinter though, that we should have some beer to celebrate. Us being eighteen and all this year coming up and that.

Well, Casey got us the beer. April brought the food, Donnie gave her the money that has been saving for New Years, and well... it was bad... BAD! All capital letters bad. It was the worst but best New Years ever.

We all drank until we got sick, but it was a buzz and not a whole problem. Then Raph and I decided to go at it and we drank the stronger stuff, I didn't fair to well since it being my first time having a beer more that a half.

I only remember yelling, slurred, at Raph and Leo and Don and Casey and April and Master Splinter and then I don't remember what happened! All I know is that when I woke up I was in a dark room, crying my heart out because my head hurt soooo badly, the bed I was on wasn't my own or my brothers or Casey and Aprils... it wasn't even the futon Master Splinter sleeps on.

I was going to panic but I couldn't even move! I was smashed and I felt so sick. There was a bucket next to me, a bowl, a rag, and.. .somethings else and... Man... I just didn't know what was going on!

If you're wondering I'm home now, safe and sound but still hung over a bit, and I'll continue with the story.

There was also a cup of water, water sounds sooo good, and a warm steaming brew of coffee next to that. I didn't want the coffee, but man it has helped with my head.

I don't understand how I got there or who found me at that moment but as I tried to sit up I heard the door open. I was so scared! I was hoping, desperately!, that I wasn't found by the foot.

Zack entered the room carrying a bowl of food. He was grinning as he sat down and I know, I KNOW, he was happy that I was awake.

We had a conversation somewhat like this:

"Michelangelo, I can't believe it!" his tone was low and it didn't hurt my head... I guess he had practice with this stuff. "I hope you're feeling better..."

"What happened?" it was a stupid question now that I think about it.

"Well, you came over to a party the foot were throwing, don't worry off the clock, and you started doing Karaoke with us... It was oddly entertaining." I know I just did the worst thing ever. "You sounded drunk and ... you really smelt like beer... how much do you remember drinking?"

"I... don't know..." I still am not told how much I had by my brothers because they still are in agreement that I'm never allowed beer again in my life.

"Well, whatever it is you have about five more." I know my stomach turned at this fact pointed out. "Don't worry, you weren't that much different... you were extremely... strange."

"how?" I don't need to know this but I was still curious! You would be too! I TELL YOU!

"Well... don't take any of this to heart, okay, but... You at first started acting like a foot ninja, even wore our outfits... and then... I'm not sure what was going through your head... you... you acted like the Shredder." Zack laughed at this! HE LAUGHED!

"I WHAT!" I screamed and my head hurts, just thinking about that hurts my head!

"Yes, you made everyone at the party laugh... you really should be grateful that it was out time off... on the clock we would have been forced to gut you like a fish in his honor..."

"Oh shit... shit shit shit!"

"hey, don't berate yourself... not everyone in his ninja like the guy... this whole party was... a ... well, 'we hate shredder' New Years. We really loved the performance."

"Are they going to tell Shredder?"

"He already knows." You can gut me like a fish, Bob, gut me like a fish for doing a stupid thing like this to my family and myself... why did Zack even have to tell me that?

"Am I in prison?"

"No... but you better lay low for several days... You weren't the only smashed person at the party... We gave Shredder a higher dose of alcohol, along with Hun, so they were both completely ... not there... last night. I just hope they don't remember that 'foot' strip dance you did."

"THE WHAT THAT I DID WHAT!" head... splitting open...

"You stripped... I told you, remember, you were dressed as a Foot ninja, remember. Shesh... okay, get more sleep, I'll tell you later."

"Wait! What time is it?"

"Nine in the morning."

After that I fell asleep again, when I woke up I was hurling in that bucket. Zack was laughing all the while and he gave me water before a bit of coffee. Even broth.

I hate beer.

So I left and got home about five hours later... so it was around three or four when I got home. Zack didn't tell me much, but when he came in to escort me home he had a bag on his shoulder. I think he had to get me close to where we first met or something like that before he went back to being a foot.

He was real patient also when we got going, but after there he pulled out a bag of... I love him for this... FUDGE! It also had an envelope and a tape with it.

I'm so scared of what the tape is. i'll have to watch it tomorrow because... I'm sure I wont be able to stay awake much longer with this ear splitting headache.

We parted ways and I was going to the sewers, nibbling a bit on the fudge.

When I got in my brothers greeted me like I'd been lost for weeks! they've been far to over protective of me since the Christmas incident. I think I don't care anymore about it, I'm no longer holding the grudge since i've been talking to them and hanging out, Zack is to blame for this, and well...

Raph and Leo and Don freaked out. They spotted the fudge, I hid the letter and tape, and they asked me where I had gotten it. I gave them a lie.

"I don't know, I was walking home eating it." Okay half lie. Don took it away instantly and went to his lab to make sure it wasn't poisoned... I WANT MY FUDGE!

Raph and Leo took me to my room, but I deterred and got my journal, as I stated in the top, and Raph just beamed while Leo gave us both a look before smiling.

And I think I'll leave you here, Leo got pizza for me and i'm so hungry. I only had broth all day! And a bit of sweet fudge. Also, Bob, I'm putting the envelope in you. I hid the tape under a pile of wrapping paper in the far corner.

Bob, did I betray my brothers last night?

Michelangelo


	11. Jan 3: Zack's letter

Dear Michelangelo,

I want to tell you that I don't like your brothers... Casey... or April. I think the only one of your 'family' that I can agree with is your father but even then I began to disagree. I don't want you to be with them, I know I could have kept you with me when you were drunk, but I don't want to do it so... against your will. I want you to be with me and not... not with those bullies.

I don't like it, how they hurt you so easily with out punishment. I didn't like, and still don't, like seeing that bruise on your face. Why do you stand with them? Why do you fight with them? why do you care for them when they don't care for you? It doesn't make sense and I will not stop trying to show you. I will make sure that they all get justice and I want you to know I am doing it for your own good.

Micheal, this isn't good for you. I know for a fact that what you are being put through is... atrocious. You can't live in an abusive family. Raphael is... not a good brother. Leonardo allows that barbaric turtle to do anything he likes. Donatello doesn't even help when he can... Do they even love you like I do?

Micheal, please... come to your senses.

I'm giving you a month, by the end of January I want a response. I want you by my side. I will not stand by and watch them with you. Those undeserving disgusting pond scum! I'll kill them if they hurt you... And don't stay underground, I wont stand by that either.

I told you. I've been following you. I know where you live. I wont stand... I wont deal with it.

Mikey! Please...

You WONT EVER be hurt... not when I'm done... not when the time is over.

I told you, Michelangelo, I've been stalking you. I know EVERYTHING and that includes where you live... where you sleep... and I'm not afraid to tell the Shredder, dear Michelangelo, I'm not afraid.

Forever your friend,

Zack.

Jan 3

Bob, I think I just killed my family because I'm to trusting. Will... I be forced to leave my family?

Bob, I'm telling them... I have to... but... I'm still not sure what they'll say.

I haven't watched the video yet and I'm scared to.

Bob... save me... help...

Michelangelo

PS. Today is double bad. Raph got angry at Leo and I tried to stop the fight... I have a nasty cut on my arm and shoulder from both of their weapons. Zack is going to kill them when he sees it.


	12. Jan 4

Jan 4

Hello... My name is Donatello Hamato. Mikey told me he called his journal 'Bob'... that is a strange name to call a journal. Oh, you are probably asking why I'm writing in my brother's journal. Well right now my brother is nervously speaking in front of us. Since I am the 'documentary' of our family, in a way, I am being forced into writing in you... Bob.

He said, last night after hiding a letter, he looked scared and Leo was frantic to have me check him out to see if he was sick.

Mikey wouldn't let me near him. At first I was willing to just let it roll off as him being weary since the wounds he got from Leo and Raph were still healing, he doesn't like it when I clean his wounds because I use 'too much' rubbing alcohol.

So now I'm just waiting for him to say something coherent, as are my brothers and Father.

OH He's starting.

I wonder... I'll write down his words and our's, it will make it easier for you to understand Bob.

"I've got a problem."

"Yeah, you're acting more dumb than ever." Raphael, the red brother.

"Shut up!" Mikey is mad.

Everyone is silent since a mad Michelangelo is never seen even on his bad days.

"My son, what is it that ails you?" Master Splinter asks this before Mikey raises a video and a letter. "Are these what cause you issues?"

"I think it is what they have on them, Master." Leo says this as he is about to get up. Mikey is glaring at the nothing now. Leo doesn't seem to be able to get up and I understand.

"Yeah, it's what's on them... and it's... also about what happened a couple of times..." I'm not sure what he's trying to say. He looks so scared and angry and I've never seen the two mesh like this before.

What is wrong with my baby brother?

"It's important... will you guys stop trying to talk over me! I'm trying to tell you guys something and... you're acting as if I'm sick or something STUPID!" Wow... Mikey really is pissed, but he looks so scared...

"Mikey?" I'm asking. "What is it that has you so uptight, bro?"

"It's that foot ninja..."

"From Christmas?" Raph asked.

"Yeah. He came back, but... I don't know how to say this, guys." Mikey turned around and he's putting in the video. Mikey's so jumpy right now. "I haven't watched this. I don't know what's on it... can't be as bad as the letter." Mikey sits next to me, I think I'm the least to jump at him... maybe... I mean... I'm scared.

If that foot did anything to Mikey... Since Christmas there has been times where Mikey has vanished!

The TV is flickering to life and I'm seeing a poor film done by a home camera. It's not professional in the least and ...

"Are you sure you should be doing this, Zack?" the camera jumped, sickening, to the left. "I mean... Shredder is going to be furious when he figured out what you're doing."

"It doesn't matter, man, Shred head aint gunna get the turtles... now, shut up and start filming!" Zack in shown in the film, his mask on but it doesn't look exactly like a regular foot's. "Damn, you've been filming!"

"Sorry, You know I'm a klutz." Zack laughed shaking his head.

"Fine, we'll start... Mikey might just laugh at this intro anyways." I see the smile or smirk growing on my brothers lips before it's snatched away. How did this ninja, our enemy, know my brother other than that night?

"Hello, Michelangelo, You were still hung over when I left... passed out from the drugs I put in the water." My eyes, like everyone and Mikey's does, and we stare at Zack... I grow angry that he'd do this to my brother.

"Are you sure you should tell him that, man?" the camera man asks.

"I am not going to hide secrets from my friend, John." Zack harshly replied back. "Well, I'm going over to your place, Mikey... I don't know what is wrong with your family, Micheal, but I don't think allowing you smashed and WALKING around in public should even be allowed... Do you even KNOW how bad, DEAD, you should be?" I don't understand as watch more and I see them going into the sewers.

Do they know where we live? What is this person talking about? Why does he know our brother's name? Why is he so 'friendly' with Mikey? Where are they heading?

Bob, why don't you answer when I question you, you who Mikey carries with him like a life line of sorts.

I can't believe this... I'm watching Zack open the secret hatch... enter our house... He's looking around and ... I know when this happened. Raph chased after Mikey nearly fifteen minutes later. Leo was angry and stormed off to make sure Raph didn't kill our baby brother. I had to grab the first aid kit. We couldn't find him.

He was in there during the time we weren't home! I don't know what to ever think that this could have happened!

"This place is a mess!"

"It's still New Years, John... they could be as smashed as Micheal was."

"Yeah, but do they go about spouting 'I am the Shredder, Fear me!'?"

Zack turns to the camera, blink,s and laughed, "No, but you have to admit, it was funny. I don't think I've ever seen Shred head so... drunk before."

"Better that he was drunk." Zack paused again picking up an empty beer can. "How much BEER can a turtle drink! They aren't even human? Does that mean they can consume MORE than a human?"

"Well, it takes longer for drugs to take effect in their system... Took Micheal half an hour before he was sleeping without the pain of a headache." Zack looked around a bit in my house, our home!

"You know... How in the world is this important to your cause of 'saving' that turtle?"

"What... oh... well, I don't know." Zack entered Mikey's room and turned on the light. "Well, we got his room."

"If the Shredder ever figures out you know where the turtles are, Zack, you'll be killed."

"I know and I love it!" He sat on my brothers bed... now he's... what in the world. "Maybe I should take a souvenir?"

"And that would be? other than disturbing." Zack shrugged his shoulders, it didn't seem he caught the last bit of what John said.

"I could just keep him." It was sudden. "I mean... I doubt his family would really be able to do anything about it."

"And that would help you from making him think you're a crazy shit person how?"

"The same way I convinced the Shredder to let me stalk Mikey with free limitations."

"Oh... Damn... You're going to actually do it, aren't you."

"Yep." Zack looked into the camera. "Michelangelo is mine; I'm not letting his brother's have him."

"Why don't you tell them."

"I have. If they're smart, they'll see it and know it."

"Damn, I'd hate to be you."

"And I'd hate to have my Michael hurt... The first one to go down will be Raphael, Leonardo will be last... I'm still considering whether to destroy Donatello's lab as payment, he's the generous out of them all."

"He's the damn doctor of the group! He aint Generous, he's a jerk." Zack nodded. "Can I put a virus on his computer?"

"Yeah, just leave the camera right there." The camera shifted before settling on Zack. "Don't move anything out of order!" no call came back.

I know there wasn't a hair out of place in my lab when I got back so... he did follow and... what did he do to my computers!

"Hello." Zack pulled Mikey's pillow into his arms and snuggled it. "As you can see, I already figured that you'd show your family, Michael." He pulled off his mask and stared at the screen. "Leo, Raph, Don, Splinter, and maybe the two humans... I'm taking Mikey out of your abusive care. I wont have him suffer. My friend will not suffer. And if that means taking Mikey out of the equation, in the end, then I wont hesitate to slice his throat. But I'll put an end to his pain... he's MINE!" the last was possessive.

The screen goes black after this and now... now we all hear Mikey whimpering. We al see that this is effecting him.

"He's... the one who..." Raph ... I don't know what he's saying but the look is murderous.

"I... I'm going to my room." Mikey just left us... Bob, you hold many of our answers don't you, but I'm not going to just read your pages without Mikey's approval, not even in this situation.

I love my brother and I love our trust and bond.

Donatello signing out for Michelangelo

ps. Zack and John are dead when my family and friends here this. Zack will wish he never fraternized with Mikey on Christmas.


	13. Jan 6

Jan 6

Bob, Donnie gave you back early yesterday morning. I haven't had any idea what to write to you. Yesterday I was scared of everything and now I think I can deal with it because I know what I'm going to do.

I love my family and I'll stand by them.

Leo called me earlier today from outside my door and asked if I was willing to talk about the situation with them. I'm ready for it.

I told them that I only wanted to talk to Leo... Leo is our leader and if I have to talk about what is going to happen and about Zack I'll only due it with him.

Michelangelo

PS I will tell you tomorrow.


	14. Jan 7

Jan 7

I promised, Bob, and I don't know what you'll think of it. I spent a couple hours just talking to Leo about Zack and the prior situations that occurred. I'm so scared over what is happening and I fee so distracted. What would happen if he actually came back? Here to my home?

Leo is worried becase of the 'killing Mikey' part of the video. What would happen to cause Zack to snap like that so he'd want to kill me? He's only been kind to me, yeah a bit obsessive, and never once tried to harm me in any form. Why?

Maybe I should start living the life like Master Splinter. It's what I've been thinking about since I locked myself up in my room again. Though, to tell you the truth, I'm glad I have you, Bob. It's nice to talk or in our case write. Though you don't write back and that kind of sucks a lot.

Bob, should I do as Zack says? I'm still so hesitant about it. I told you, I mentioned it, that I'd tell you what Leo and I talked about... here's a part of our conversation... the ending of it at least.

"Why didn't you tell us about him?"  
"Because I didn't want you guys worrying." I know I've just made the fear and worry worse with my lie.

"So you're just going to pretend everything is fine?" I'm still ashamed of seeing my brother look so hurt.

"Don't you trust us... me, Mikey?"  
"I do, Leo, I just didn't want you to worry about me!" He's my brother, Bob, of course he'd worry. After all, I'm the baby. It really sucks that people consider me weaker.

"I'm going to always worry!" his voiced raised, I know the tone from how many times I heard it directed at Raph. "I'm not going to just stop out of the blue, Mikey, because I'm your brother!"

"I can protect myself!" I had snapped at I regret that now. "I don't need you, Raph, or Don protecting me!" Leo became silent at my outrage. The reason was I never yelled or got mad like this. "I'm eighteen years old, a ninja my whole life, and you guys never acknowledge that!" I know now that I was crying at that point because Leo, I remember, became so calm... He's was going to baby me and I could feel it.

"Mikey,-." I cut him off.

"If Zack wasn't threatening to kill my family I would be with him right now than you!" I spat those words at him. I said it without a tremor. I hated Leo, but I don't now, for doing the same things as my family, he, and my friends did: Babied.

I ran out of the room, Bob, crying, angry, annoyed, and I felt betrayed; Leo, Raph, Don, and even Master Splinter never treated me like they treated each other. Why can't they just trust me? Why can't they believe that I can do what they do alone?

Bob, what am I going to do? How do I convince my family?

I need some way to breathe... I feel so trapped.

Michelangelo


	15. Jan 8

_Again late, sorry_

Jan 8

I left the lair. I got in trouble up top with the dragons. I barely escaped, but now I can't get home. I'm sitting in an abandoned building, my left ankle is sprained, I got dosed with pepper gas, and I'm currently without a cell phone. I did the stupid thing. A Raphael thing. I left, pissed, and got into a fight.

Bob, why is it that ever since Raph gave you to me I've been getting bad luck? If I think back on it, the days since you were handed from one hand to another, that Raph seemed more… happy. For Christmas he got a brand new punching back, and I got a stalker.

Bob, my luck doesn't suite to my crimes. Raph usually had to do this, deal with the bad. It's breaking me. I just want to get rid of you, yet I'm always compelled to carry you.

You're magic, evil, and want me dead, don't you, Bob!

I hate you! I hate you and everything that you've caused! I hate every damn thing that has happened to me. So trusting I can't even protect myself. I'm no ninja. I'm a wanna-be. I wish I had Leo's Katana or Raph's sai… or a razor. I just want to feel like myself again.

I want to laugh, smile, be me.

Can I give up on my life? Zack? My family? Friends? Problems? Can I surrender to that creeping darkness you planted in my chest, Bob, the day you were given as a gift to me?

Karma sucks ass.

Michelangelo

P.S. If I ever get out of this alive and if either my brother's or Zack come to help me… I'll pick either of them now.

P.P.S. I just stabbed myself from a shard of glass on the ground as I was making my way down stairs and outside.


	16. Jan 9

_Again late, sorry_

_(Okay so I know I'm late but I promise soon I'll be on the right area, just soo much going on) _

Jan 9

April is letting me stay with her. She doesn't believe I'm going to leave my brothers; I might. I'm eating Cheetos and watching 'Meet the Parents' with her. She's insisting that I take a break from all this crap around me.

Leo and Master Splinter agree.

Raph and Don didn't like me coming to the surface. They're still angry at me for yesterday. I know what I did and I know it was a stupid thing to do. I just don't understand why they have to keep throwing it in my face.

I did the same thing Raph always does. I pissed off a Purple Dragon and his group. I got hurt. AND I made it home alive but battered. I feel like I don't even know who I am anymore.

I think the reason why Don is so angry is because I'm not allowing him to treat any of my wounds. When I got home I treated them myself.

I'm not useless.

I hope this movie is going to make me more me.

Michelangelo


	17. Jan 10

Jan 10

We stayed up late, April and I, and I loved it. I can't believe how much I forgot how to enjoy a comedy. April passed out halfway through 'Meet the Focker's'. I hope everything works out for this month. I'm a bit loopy from lack of sleep.

I finished cleaning and re-bandaging my wounds. They aren't bad, but they don't feel so good either. I have half a thought of going to have Donnie look at them.

I ne ver told Donnie how I got my cut on my leg, and it's not a cut but a nice stab wound. It doesn't look bad, so it isn't something to worry about... hopefully never to worry about when it heals.

Oh, my brothers just came in, got to go hear them complaining about me again.

Michelangelo

ps. I want some pizza, I'm dying for a slice, maybe we can order some.


	18. Jan 11

Jan 11

The wounds I got from Raph's and Leo's weapons are itching. So is the cut from the glass on my leg. I haven't told anyone about it. Right now I'm trying to stall. I mean it. I have rubbing alcohol, brought to me from Casey and his supplies, and a clothe which I doused in it. I don't want to but I know I have no other choice.

Donnie will be in trouble if I don't keep my wounds clean. Zack knows he's our medic. Bob, I'm so scared; what if I have an infected cut? What if something is happening? Bob, what have I done to myself? I know I need to go to Donnie, but why am I acting like Raph about getting my wounds checked on?

I noticed that I haven't heard from Zack even though I've been running around up top. do you think he's waiting for my response? I already know it: Yes.

How can I give my response if I never see him? How do I tell him what I've chosen?

Bob, I want you to explain it to me because I know you know something I don't.

Michelangelo


	19. Jan 12

Jan 12

Dear Bob, I'm no longer going to write for the next week or so. I've decided to take a trip and figured out what I want.

I'm leaving you behind in my room. I spent the whole day and night cleaning it for when I leave. I found so many things that I've never realized I lost.

Pictures of my brothers, father, friends. The worst was the note. I didn't realize it but I had the reason why Zack hasn't came to talk to me with me all the time.

I had left my chucks at home, in my room, when I went out. When Zack turned off the camera he planted it for me to find.

'Dear Micheal,

Your decision means so much to me. Your life everything to me. You know by now that I ton't let them have you so I'm going to give you a choice:

Come with me or kill your family before I make that choice for you.

Also, I think you should take life by your hands and learn before it ends.

I still cherish your Christmas gift. I cherish your smile too.

Along life you'll find I'm the better option. By the way, do you know how wonderful this will be for you? Me and you...

January 31, 2011, that will be the day we shall meet at that bar I took you to on our first outing. I'll await your answer.

You're only chance to keep them safe,  
Zack'

You wont believe how many times I've read this. Yesterday, I knew what I wanted. Today, I'm afraid of the world.

Michelangelo

Ps. Don't try to find me, I'll be safe, I promise. I love you all, never forget that.


	20. Jan 13  Jan 18

_I know... but it really does lead up to something!_

Jan 13

Bob, still no word from Mikey.

Donatello

Jan 14

We're not giving up on finding him, Bob.

Donatello

Jan 15

We've found his chucks and gear in Casey's farm house. He was there, we just don't know how recent.

Donatello

-  
Jan 16

Raph and Leo are fighting so often, Bob, and both blame each other and themselves over Mikey leaving.

Donatello

Jan 17

It's been five days and we have no word or evidence Mikey is alive.

Donatello

Jan 18

Six days. Raph got a box in the mail sent to April's yesterday. It held Mikey's mash and a scribbled note of 'Thought you should have this'.

Donatello


	21. Jan 19 Jan 23

Jan 19

A whole week. In Mikey's last entry he said he would be back by now. We're waiting, Mikey, where are you?

Donatello

Jan 20

I found blood in the sewers near our lair. I know it's Mikey and I can't do anything! Why are you avoiding us?

Donatello

Jan 21

Casey swore he saw one of us on the roof tops. I'm scared that something might have happened to Mikey to make him act like this.

Donatello

Jan 22

What is happening? Bob, why is Mikey avoiding us? What did he tell you that he didn't write? Answer me, I'm begging you! Raph and Leo are losing their minds as am I...

Donatello

Jan 23

I found Mikey in an abandonded building, he has a fever and new wounds. Even the old one sare infected.

Donatello


	22. Jan 24

Jan 24

My names Michelangelo. I haven't written to you for over a week, Bob. I haven't figured out what I had to do... I'm confused still. I'm hurt inside and out. I'm just as lost as before. My brother's were a wreck when Don brought me back. They don't know I'm awake and coherent. I went in, after waking up, and talked to Master Splinter. He was glad to know I was home and much better. We talked about what is going to happen in seven days. A week. Such a short time, isn't it.

I told Master Splinter that after I talked to my borther's I would meditate on the problem, he insisted that I should, but I doubt I'll get very far with it. All this time running hasn't helped me think, neither will meditating. Maybe if Leo does it with me?

Bob, I know this isn't your fault anymore like I did before I left. Now, I'm going to sleep and dram of torturing Shredder, the true villian, by making him a barbie doll and wearing a pink frilly purtple type of things; I hope he dies in his sleep with mortification!

Michelangelo


	23. Jan 25 and 26

Jan 25

My family hasn't given me much time today to meditate. They've been demanding to know what I've been up to. I even allowed Don to finally treat my wounds, he's angry at me when he explained to me they were infected. Raph actually shoved pizza down my throat, Don had told them all I lost weight. Raph just stated I was too thin for him to pick on. I tried to tell him I'd be find but he didn't believe me... none of them have.

Leo feels so responcible but I can't blame him. I ran away after ou talk, I told him he didn't need to, I don't think he believes me.

I'm going to meditate, Bob, but the question is: Can I? Can I get the answers I'm looking forthat way? Can I go to 'that' place and find m answer?

I should talk to MAster Splinter again.

Michelangelo

ps. Tomorrow I decided I'm going to bake a cake.

* * *

Jan 26

I made a cake! Double chocolate cake with strawberry frosting and center. If I could eat it all I would, but I can't and I wont. Raph came in as I was finishing it earlier this morning asking why I mae it. I just said it was for tomorrow. I don't think he knows who it's for or why. I felt pitty that my brothers were not getting that cake that I spent hours that morning making, so I made them cookies that I knew they all loved.

That cake is safe, I should say, becase I made Leo, Raph, Don, Casey, April, and Master Splinter not to eat or touch it.

They liked my cookies.

By the way, I'm not at the lair. I'm back on that roof top stairing aorund. For a a while I'll try to meditate here until my brothers begin freaking out.

Michelangelo

ps. I figured out two options for myself and Zack. Forgive me, Master Splinter, for what I have done.


	24. Jan 27 and 28

Jan 27

I've come to the conclusion on when to eat the cake. I'm sitting on the roof top of the bar with Zack, he's explaing to me how he missed me and that the was had been killing him.

I brought the cake with me so I could eat it with him, when I go home I'll make my family another, a better than this one, cake. My family wanted some of this cake, but I can't have them eating it. Trust me, I made enough sugar cookies yesterday doused in frosting so all my family will stay away from the cake. Also kept me in the kitchen.

"Why did you make me cake?" Zacke is eating some he cut for both of us.

"I had the idea that I wanted something to eat up here." A lie.

"It looks delicious." I nodded to him.

"It will be, I put a lot of time into it."

He's come to accpet that I write when I talk, I've come to accept that I write my last words.

* * *

Jan 28

It's the afternoon. I'm in pain. I'm telling my family it's too much sugar. They believe me, I making them their own cake when I got home. Zack and I ate half of the other one. When he left he took the cake, I'm fine with that... I'm glad of that. Now I'm just waiting for the oven to warn up before I finish this cake.

I've timed it to a day or two, but it's enough to show them that I love them. I told Zack I'd meet him on the 30th at the bar. I just have to hold out, how showing that I'll be leaving again.

Bob, did I do the right thing for my family? Do I have the right to leave them like this? I should tell Donnie... I will after I tell you what is killing me, Bob, because you deserve it.

I laced the cake with rate poisoning.

Michelangelo


	25. Jan 29 30 31

Jan 29

We are currently on search for Zack. It's getting closer, two days. I wonder if the rat poisoning has killed him... I hope so. If not I wonder what he'll think about me. I nearly killed him, Nearly... more like eventually. I haven't told Don yet of what I did to myself. He's starting to get suspicious of something I think about my attitude. The poisoning is starting to effect me I noticed. My vision is blurring, my reflexes are nearly all shot, and I'm so far behind from my brothers right now that they have to know something isn't right along with the fact that I'm breathing as if I was just nearly drowned or something!

Though somehow I'm cognitive enough to write and run... How screwed up can I be right now? Stupid screwed up turtle, I am, huh.

Or as Yoda would say to me, "Messed up you are, I know." I think for my final hours I'll try to hang out with my friends and Family. Bob, again, make sure all I tell you is safe until I'm actually dead.

Michelangelo

* * *

Jan 30

Tomorrow is the beg day. Tomorrow I have to see if Zack's alive. The only problem is, I'm barely abre to move, I'm stuck in my bed with my door locked, and I'm actually vomiting blood now. I can't move, talk, or even get up to get a new bag anymore.

I'm so tired. I'm going to die I know this now. Could the reason why I'm still alive after how long I've eaten the poison be due to the fact I'm a mutant? I really need to... God why am I a sucker for punishment, Bob?

Michelangelo

ps. One of my brother's just walked past my bed room... again... I think they're worried... Maybe I should leave them a note telling them what happened and what I did to myself?

* * *

Jan 31

I'm practically leaning against the back door of the bar. I'm not so hot like I know I could be, stupid cake... stupid me... I'm still throwing up blood and my skin doesn't look so good... and... there's other problems I don't feel confident about talking about to you Bob... a bit embarrassing I'd say. I'm dying and it isn't with my family by my side telling me everything would be okay and that Donnie would miraculously find a cure and then I'd be eating Ice Cream, hugging my family, crying with my family... I mean... come on! This isn't how your suppose to spend your last few hours! LAST FEW MINUTES!

I don't want to die! I don't want to die! Bob, I don't want to die!

Michelangelo


	26. Feb 1: Bad ending

Feb 1

Mikey's dead. He went to the bar, like we all knew he would and we still didn't try hard enough to stop him. We found his body on the roof when he didn't come home that night, we thought like naive kids he'd cower out of it and let us stand by his side during this situation and...

There was so much blood surrounding him and... covering him...

Leo and Raph know Zack did this, they believe that that S.o.B. did this. They're grieving right now as they're cleaning Mikey's body for the funeral. Splinter is suggesting cremation, we're all in agreement with it because we'll keep his ashes in the lair next to his weapons and picture. We can pay respect to him there, safe, with his family to be there to love him.

Bob, there are pages, certain ones in this diary from the last week-week and a half, that seemed to have been smeared to the point I can't read them or find out what Mikey wrote to you. I get the feeling you know the truth to how Mikey died, he had been so far into writing every detail down to you over this last month.

Tell me your secret, Bob, on how Mikey died, because what if...

**The End**


	27. Feb 1: Good ending

_ChiakiAngel, my dear friend, didn't want me to kill Mikey off in this story when I was still on chapter 18 and she found out about the ending through a 7 hour conversation. She demanded, practically, that i make sure Mikey lives and here you all go, an alternate ending. I actually really like how this one came out because, well, it goes off of the little hints in the last chapter, before the ending, where Mikey 'might' be saved._

_This is for all of you who don't want Mikey to die! And I am considering making a sequal, but I first have to finish Casket._

Feb 1

Mikey had left the lair sometime while we all were having restless sleep. It had caused enough of a scare that when we found out he was gone we had left in such a rush we barely didn't see the blood that lined the walls of the lair and the tracks that were still fresh with red. I can't help but fear the worst but the good thing is when Leo, Raph, and I got to the roof of the bar we found him... barely alive... but I have never seen him covered in so much blood that even now my stomach is unsettled and my head filled with a nightmare that will never leave me.

What do I do? I have treated him, Leo and Raph gave him a bath, and now Splinter has set up the incense to ease our brothers pain.

Will it be enough? Have we reached him in time?

Bob, I wish your or Mikey told us sooner, we could have had more time and not now being informed of such a pain both you bore on your shoulders.

Donatello

* * *

Feb 23

Dear Bob,

They found the body of Zack and several other people who I know are foot members. They are stating that it was murder and they are true, but the one it was aimed for is dead and I'm alive. I some how pulled through. Somehow lived but I had my family. I had Donnie, I had Leo, I had Raphie... even Master Splinter. They found me and they brought me back from the white edge that I had started seeing on that roof top, they kept me alive and now... now I have a second chance to live if they ever stop treating me like a china doll about to break.

But I guess I understand I just woke up two days ago and now I need to work all over again to get back to ninja life.

Thank you, Bob, for being with me for... this whole ordeal.

This will be the last entry in this journal. I'm dedicating the lat few pages to pictures of my family.

Michelangelo


End file.
